I was born a sick, but happy baby.

The first couple months of my life were spent in and out of an incubator, as I had a severe case of jaundice. Fast forward a few years, and I was in and out of hospitals with doctors telling my parents that I would be lucky to live to the young age of 16.

By the age of 5, I was undergoing kidney reconstructive surgery to fix a birth defect that was contributing to my poor health and constant hospital visits. The surgery was a success and I spent nearly two months within Children’s Hospital recovering.

Once released, I was finally “healthy”, yet faced many hurdles and had a childhood that my therapist had described as “ severely traumatic”. It wasn’t until I was older that I was able to understand just how much damage had been done in my early years, yet that is a story for another time/

By the age of 16, I was experiencing an array of mental health issues and felt trapped. The only life that I had known by this point, was struggle. Around this time, a simple trip to the doctors for a check-up ended me with a prescription for beta-blockers and a referral to cardiology.

When I had gotten there for my check-up appointment, the nurses had tried to get my vitals, yet they couldn’t get a reading on my heart. They thought I was just wound up from the day, so they left the room and told me that they would be back within 30 minutes to allow me to settle in. When they came back, my heart was still racing and they finally were able to get a reading, and it was over 180 bpm. This would mark the beginning to my long, tiring, and tedious journey of self-advocacy and healing. 

After a few more cardiology appointments and a couple heart monitors later, it was discovered that I had SVT (Supraventricular Tachycardia). After discussing treatment plans with my doctor, we both had agreed that going through with the out-patient operation was my best option, as the beta-blockers left me passing out from dangerously low heart rates.  The operation did not go as planned, and it took nearly 6 hours for me to gain consciousness post-op. After this, doctors told me that I shouldn’t experience anymore problems. This unfortunately was not the case.For the next 7 years, I experienced everything under the sun and more. From a hernia surgery to reoccurring heart episodes, I spent months, years, battling my internal world. Doctors continued to push me away with the simple notion of, “You are a young, healthy women”.

One thing that I had noticed during this time was that when my stress levels were astronomical, my body would shut down. It was during these times that I started to watch for patterns and the possible correlation between my declining health and stress.

Unfortunately, I was not in a part of my life where I had the energy to look any further into this, as my long-time battle with mental illnesses kept me within a negative loop. I felt alone as I became a prisoner to my body. Doctors continued to tell me that everything was okay, even though in my gut, I knew this was not the case. I was living in constant fear of what could happen. The stress that I experienced during this period of my life was enough to last me a lifetime, maybe two. Instead, it had hit me within a few years.

To help give some better insight, these medical flare-ups, or episodes, could last anywhere from a few hours to a couple of weeks. As I got older, the episodes started getting longer and more severe. It would start with disturbed sleep, nausea and a general feeling of tiredness. After a few days of this, I would start to tire more easily from simple tasks such as getting dressed, walking up stairs, and even just talking with others. Following this, I would get chest pains that had enough force to bring me to my knees. It felt like someone had my heart within a death grip. Quickly after the chest pains, there would be sensations that traveled into my left arm and sometimes into my shoulder blade and neck. Once the pain would pass, I would become like a vegetable. Basic skills like talking and holding a conversation were nearly impossible. As someone who had always taken deep pride in their wittiness and intellectual skills, it was hard to grasp that a simple sentence could take me anywhere from 2 to 3 minutes to just get out.

Jump to November of 2020. I was 23 and in the best health of my life, besides the reoccurring episodes with my heart that only seemed to get worse. It was at this point in time, that I started going back to doctors with the hope that they might be able to gain some insight on what was happening internally. After searching far and wide for a doctor that wouldn’t dismiss my case yet again as “anxiety”, I was able to find a cardiologist who listened to me. They ordered for me to complete a bubble study, which is a test used to see if there are any issues with proper blood flow within the heart. The test came out positive, and I was informed that my Patent Formal Ovale had not properly closed after birth. Nearly 25% of the population has this birth defect, so I was told that I have nothing to worry about. 

Once again, they were wrong. 

Later that week, I got hit with another episode. Thankfully through my years of self-advocating, I had learned how to handle my health when these moments would occur and I knew the best thing for me to do during these moments was to simply rest, so that is what I did. Unfortunately, that was not enough this time.

Only a few days after I was told that everything will be okay, I was being rushed into the emergency room as my body was shutting down. From my years of being sent home from emergency room after emergency room, I almost did not go in that night. Anyone who has been in my shoes will understand the hesitancy about going in. When you have been gaslit and dismissed by doctors for years, you start to question whether or not what you are experiencing is real or just as they called it “anxiety”.

My roommate sat by my side as I slipped in and out of consciousness. They begged to take me in, but I continued to put up a fight. That was until I lost the ability to speak. I knew at this point I was in serious danger. By the time that I had reached the emergency room, I had lost all ability to move my hands, feet, and limbs. I couldn’t move my mouth and the staff had to practically drag my lifeless body out of my roommates car. 

What followed is a series of very fuzzy events.

My heart was stopped three times. 

When I finally came to, I looked around to my surroundings. I had an IV in each arm and there were unknown faces everywhere. Once I had been stabilized, one of the doctors informed me that when I arrived, my blood pressure was almost 180/150, my heart rate was racing at a solid 150+ bpm and my oxygen levels were below 85%. They asked why I didn’t call an ambulance, and as I tried to explain to them how many times I had been seen and sent home, they just starred at me in silence.

This is where I realized being aware of your body and health is crucial for survival. No one knows your body like you. 

I was checked into the cardiac unit for the week, where I was then poked and prodded like a science experiment. From all of this, they had found that I had another birth defect within my sinus node called sinus node reentrant tachycardia. At this point, they had found TWO birth defects within the structure of my heart in the same week. The same week where they had told me that I was perfectly okay and had nothing to worry about.

My trust within doctors nearly diminished after this. Due to COVID, I had to wait nearly two months for an appointment with an electrophysiologist. It was time wasted, as when I finally got to meet with the doctor, he told me “you are a healthy, young women. There is nothing to worry about and you should take comfort in knowing a doctor is telling you this”. I was speechless at the fact that I was still being dismissed.The anger that raged within me almost consumed me whole. 

It was within this moment that I had made a promise to myself. That I would not stop until others like myself had their voices heard. To be gaslit for years from the ones who we have been taught are there to help us, caused me to experience a level of stress that I cannot even begin to describe.

This was the last time I spoke with a doctor about my condition. Since then, I have had to make major life changes. Within those changes, came a hyper-fixation on learning all that I could about stress and alternative modalities to better help myself and the quality of my life. Years later and I still battle with these episodic flare-ups. I have found comfort in learning insights on what is wrong with my body, as it has helped curate a lifestyle of freedom from my condition. Even though I do not have the freedom to do certain things, I know that through the management of my lifestyle and stress, I can live a life where I am no longer prisoner.

I have found power within my ailments.

In no way am I saying that you cannot trust your doctor, but I am saying that you have more control and power over your health than you may know.

The years that I had spent trying to heal myself, all had a common theme of none other than: low stress levels and positive lifestyle changes. I cannot confirm that this is what has kept me healthy, as I am no doctor, but I can say that it has helped increase my quality of life beyond measures.

I created this website with the intention of helping others become informed and aware to the power that they hold. That we all hold. This website originally started as one of my senior projects, but was always meant to be more. Here is where I intend to create a space of connection. Awareness. Empowerment.

Through my personal experiences and studies, I have found that stress is not as innocent as we have been led to believe. When we are constantly stressed out, our stress response is chronically activated, which keeps the body out of homeostasis. This is ground zero for almost any ailment within the body , and for those of you who are like myself and are not able bodied, it is very crucial to have an understanding of what stress can do to you.

Even for those of you who are able bodied, knowing about how chronic stress impacts us is a key component to living a long, healthy life.

When I first started my studies years ago, I made a lot of lifestyle changes that helped increase the overall levels of quality of life. Yet, the biggest positive shift came once I started to examine the stress response and alter the way in which I perceived it. Once I started to explore these areas more, I realized how important it is for others to become aware of this as well. When our bodies are at a relaxed state, they are able to function, allowing them to flourish brightly.

Hence the name, Flourishine. Health and wellness are not areas that we should fear nor give power away so easily. I am not saying to follow anything I share without further consideration from yourself and your primary care physician. Yet, I am saying to open your mind and explore the realm of healing that your body holds. When given a proper environment, it can thrive beyond measures.

If there is one thing I have learned, it is that as humans, we are all so very uniquely designed. This goes for our biological structure and makeup as well. What works for one, may have adverse affects for another. Yet, among our individual differences, there is also an array of similarities, in which one of those is personal power. This is where awareness is key. I am honored to share my story and journey, and I hope that the information shared within this site serves you well along your own personal healing journey

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There is great power within our personal stories. Whether it be the lessons in which we grew through or the blessings in which we acquired, we all carry moments that we allow to define us. When we step into the role of the narrator, we reclaim the ability to dictate what moments we will allow ourselves to be defined by.

Do you or someone that you know have a story of great resilience and feat that deserves to be shared? Please click the link below and follow the contact form provided:

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